Kota Baru gastronomic delights

For a west coast Peninsula Malaysian Chinese, used to the liberal Western ways of urban Kuala Lumpur, my mind conjured up images of a very conservative Muslim state, where male and female are neatly segregated in supermarket checkout counters and cinemas. Visions of the Chinese in Kelantan being effectively restricted in terms of their food, drinks and culture made me slightly anxious as I drove up there from KL via the East Coast Road back in January 2010.

Inclusive culture

To my great surprise however, Kelantan turned out to be a warm and friendly place with great food.  Look beneath the veneer of Malay women in their “tudungs” (headscarves worn by Muslim women) and you find a very friendly, graceful and gentle race, ever ready to help those in need, and hospitable to a fault.

I daresay of all the Malays whom I have met in Malaysia, the Kelantanese struck me as the warmest and most genuine, in fact the most caring. And this last fact is borne out by several conversations that I have had with long-time Chinese residents there. The one thing that stood out which they were all in agreement was that if they, the Chinese, had any trouble, for instance, a thief trying to run away from their shop, and the Chinese called out for help, a whole group of Malays within earshot would rush to catch the thief and even exact their own punishment on him. This is regardless of the fact that the thief himself is a Malay. Race and colour do not seem to affect the Kelantanese Malays as much as they do in the west coast of Peninsula Malaysia.

It is a very inclusive culture, some Thai influence, perhaps, since Kelantan borders Thailand. One Malay lady even asked me why I didn’t convert to Islam! Hey, this is the real “One Malaysia” that PM Najib was talking about, I thought.

Not surprisingly, the Chinese there are happy living in Kelantan, notwithstanding controls over alcoholic sales and other restrictions. “We can still drink alcoholic drinks in Chinese establishments. That’s good enough for us. Is it necessary for all food and drink establishments to sell alcoholic drinks? As long as it’s not completely prohibited, we are okay about it,” revealed a Chinese resident. On the surface, no one seems to miss the non-existence of nightclubs and discos. Unfortunately, I did not have a local guide to bring me to underground establishments to savour a different Kota Bharu at night.

  “Satay Osman” – better than Kajang Satay

  

Driving around looking for some budget accommodation, I ended up in a quiet area off Chinatown, practically a one-street Chinese enclave filled with lots of Chinese stalls and coffee shops.

Having driven some 700km all the way from KL, I was not about to content myself with some familiar Chinese food. So, I sought out some Kelantanese specialties like Nasi Kerabu and Kelantanese satay (skewered barbequed meat). I was not disappointed. Driving around the many one-way streets in the small town of 500,000 plus residents, I chanced upon a satay stall. Called Satay Osman, patrons streamed in to buy take-away satay, usually a minimum of 15-20 sticks at a time. At 50 sen per stick, it was quite cheap compared to KL prices. But that’s not the big deal.

The big deal is that the Satay was better than the famous Kajang satay. Kajang is home to the best satay in Malaysia, yet Osman’s satay exceeded Kajang both in terms of the meat (tasty, juicy, tender and bigger chunk) and the peanut sauce (sweet and crunchy). You just can’t get enough of it. I wanted to buy more but I needed to save space in my stomach for Nasi Kerabu, which is rice with fragrant, fresh-pickled leaves and shoots, dipped into “budu” (fish sauce) and sometimes “tempoyak” (fermented durian sauce).

Feasting on BBQ chicken and ciku juice

A short enquiry with one of the makciks (old lady) at the stall brought me to Yati Ayam Percik, known to have the best ayam percik in Kelantan. “Ayam Percik” is a big piece of seasoned chicken meat barbequed over charcoal fire and eaten with a special gravy. The stall was busy during dinner time.

It also sells lots of desserts, many resembling Thai desserts, with coconut being the main base ingredient. I was pleasantly surprised that they have “ciku” juice as well. Ciku is a very sweet fleshy fruit the size of a tomato. Its flesh is brown in colour and it has several seeds. It’s one of my favourite fruits, and I have yet to find a KL shop selling “ciku” juice! It’s popular in Indochinese countries like Cambodia.

Pasar Siti Khadijah – showcase for women entrepreneurs

The next morning, I decided to continue my culinary adventures at the famous Pasar Siti Khadijah, a day market housed in a circular building in the town centre. The much photographed scene of the many stalls in the courtyard selling vegetables, keropok lekor  (fish sausage crackers) and even turtle eggs is synonymous with Kelantan tourism advertisements. These are the faithful poster “girls” for “Visit Kelantan” promotions.

Named after Prophet Muhammad’s first wife who was famed for being very entrepreneurial, it highlights the strong economic role played by Kelantanese women. Most of the sellers are women, with the exception of some men selling meat products.

There is even a 73-year old Chinese man selling vegetable seeds. Known only as Mr Leong, he has been the odd fixture there for the last 40 years. Most of his customers are out-of-town women who buy them to grow in their plots of land in the outskirts of Kota Bharu.

An egghead chomping on turtle’s egg

Feeling the need to experience something completely different, I decided to buy a boiled turtle egg (telur penyu). At RM4 apiece, the price was rather steep. It was only RM1 each a few years ago, however due to scarcer availability, the price has skyrocketed. Next, I bought a slice of cake and akok (traditional Kelantanese dessert  made from duck eggs, dark sugar and pandan leaf) from the Desserts section of the market. I then proceeded to the first floor to feast on my acquisitions.

It was not an easy choice to make for my main course – it was either the Laksam stall or the Sup Perut stall. Laksam is a bit like ketupat (rice cake). It’s made from rice flour and is served with coconut milk curry and fish. Sup Perut is Cow’s Innards eaten with noodles in a beef-based broth. I chose the beef flat rice noodles but specified only lean beef meat and no intestines, lung, or spleen. The broth was flavourful and the beef meat was tender and better than expected. Not surprisingly, Kak Ani Sup Perut was well-patronised.

The turtle egg however was too salty for my liking. It has a very strong taste as well, unlike any taste that I have had ever experienced before. I didn’t finish it. It’s definitely an acquired taste and according to some Kelantanese, it’s a favourite delicacy among some of them. It was definitely my first and last time eating a turtle egg. I didn’t want to think that I have become one of those much-hated carnivores devouring what could have been potentially a cute little turtle breaking out of that small white eggshell. The consequences of my cruel action were too bewildering to even consider. I have single-handedly helped in reducing the turtle population in the east cost of Peninsula Malaysia. What a total egghead that I was!

That was the highlight of my culinary adventure in Kelantan. It was a short working trip and I could have seen and done more. Perhaps the next trip will see me traipsing the underground scene in Kota Bharu, and perhaps even making a trip to Sungei Golok, the notorious shopping and nightlife haven on the Thai side of the border, north of Kelantan. Of course, mosques and Thai temples are also on the menu, but till then, I have to recover from the 1,300km drive back from Kelantan.

 

Flamenco Barcelona – video


Half hour of modern flamenco with emphasis on footwork of the male dancer. The singing is usually done by a rather plump singer with strong lungs and deep voice. The singing sounds a bit like Arabic song. According to wikipedia, the singing and the guitar playing are the heart and soul of flamenco.

Usually, it’s the male dancers who get prime time to show off their dazzling footwork. Each male dancer competes to show off his lightning fast foot tappings. Quite mesmerizing.

Flamenco – Barcelona style

       This is the most expensive flamenco show in Barcelona @ 38 Euros per pax incl one drink. I expected more dances from the female dancers, but the male dancers dominate. It seems that in Barcelona, the skill of a flamenco dancer is based very much on how fast he (usually it’s a he) can tap both his feet, the faster the greater the crowd cheers.

It was quite a performance, this 1 1/2 hour show. The singing was passionate, sounded a bit Arabic. Then again, flamenco was supposed to have originated from Southern Spain, nothing less from the gypsies which Spain is known to be very hospitable to.

Next, to get another flamenco fix, we went to Los Tarantos, an 8 Euro half hour performance that seemed to have a bigger impact on me as I was sitting right in front and managed to capture the the dance in video. Unfortunately, the video will have to wait as my blog somehow can’t display it due to disk shortage space! Gotta upgrade soon.

Not bad for evening entertainment apart from all those night clubs that start after 11pm and go on till 5am. Post 5am, if you still feel in the mood, there are venues open from 5am till 12pm and not just on the weekends. Live passionately like the Spaniards. There is no time to worry about where the Euro is headed.

On a serious note, if you want to see the real thing, perhaps you should see it in Southern Spain. While you are there, take in a bull fight as well, as Barcelona, proud to be the most progressive Spanish province (in fact, they think they are not Spanish as they are ABOVE the Spaniards), has happily banned it.  They’d rather be remembered for their “Human Tower” and Gaudi’s art. More about that next.

 

Famous Klang Cendol

dscn2487cendol Klang

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Surprisingly, Klang town has institutionalized the Indian import called “Cendol”, consisting of wiggly green noodly like stuff in white coconut milk, topped with shaved ice and brown sugar (gula melaka). The perfect complement for “rojak”, a concoction of raw vegetables, eggs and cooked taufu and sometimes crackers, all nicely dipped in a sweet coconut sauce, much like satay sauce, but different.  Again, I chance upon this shop which I understand originally started as a stall back in 1972, a fact which it proudly displays in all its signboards.

The cendol was good. Nothing missing there but the rojak was quite ordinary with nothing special. The crowd was a motley group of Indian, Malay and Chinese. Most ordered the cendol biasa – ordinary chendol with red beans and ate the dessert with take-away food from other shops. No one in the shop bothered with this.

The workers are mostly Indians with a Malay working as a waiter. Ambience is nothing great.

Apart from bak kut teh and steamed bread and kampung eggs, and of course sea food, Klang is surely a bit of a food paradise, although you need to know your way around. Otherwise, like me, count on your lucky stars to keep bumping into places with good food.

The cendol shop is on Nenas Road which is near the congested roundabout in Klang. For hot afternoons, it’s a good stop. It’s cheap too at RM1.20 per bowl.

Incredible Malaysia – A Satire

Malaysian Mirror
by Jan Yong

Wednesday, 24 February 2010 07:26

A SATIRE IN Bolehland, furious preparations are being made to market Malaysia as the most Incredible Nation in the world.

“Incredible Malaysia” is the new tagline from Tourism Malaysia. For once, the powers that be at the ministry have got it right. We beat many countries for sheer audacity of our politicians, the scandalous nature of our justice and our melodramatic religious disagreements. The tourists have tired of our multicultural food, places of worship, beaches, cool highlands, and even our renowned Genting casino.

Once upon a time, our Petronas Twin Tower was the tallest building in the world. Now, sadly no longer, outshone by one country after another bent on putting us down, literally. Our “astronaut-eating-roti-canai-in-space” stunt no longer hogs the headlines.

beyonce knowlesBeyonce (right) failed to reach our shores but instead had gone on “cavorting sexily” in China and thereafter to several Grammy awards. Another win for Muslim extremists who protested her show in Malaysia.

Although international arrivals have breached the 22 million mark in 2009 and is expected to rise by five per cent for year 2010, there is still a pressing need to introduce new attractions for fear that our neighbours might come up with even newer and better ones. Case in point – Singapore’s newly-opened Genting casino. Not surprisingly, the powers that be at the Tourism Ministry had earlier deemed it a matter of national interest to employ no one less than former Ferrari Formula One team boss Jean Todt aka Mr Datuk Michelle Yeoh to promote Malaysia in Europe.

incredible-malaysiaWhile “Amazing Thailand” captivated and fascinated us, “Incredible Malaysia” seeks to astonish and astound us with our stupendous achievements (Note: “Stupendous” is defined as astonishingly great or amazing in size or greatness, nothing to do with the intellect at all).

The list of our achievements is nothing short of wow-inspiring.

* We are at press time the only country in the world with a former prime minister that has successfully started a post-retirement career as a celebrity blogger

* We are the only country in the world which has successfully transfixed an entire nation’s attention on a man’s ass and the penetrating instrument (whether real or manufactured) and hence educated an entire generation on sex, notwithstanding that the focus is mainly on backside sex (this explains why we have done away with Sex Education in Schools. Students invariably fall asleep due to boredom during such trial classes)

* Our higher court judges, namely Federal and Court of Appeal judges, are the first to toe the line in adhering to 1 Malaysia, a unity concept mooted to unite Malaysians on all fronts. The patriotic judges have without fail come up with unanimous decisions on cases that have political implications. By speaking with one united voice and not allowing dissenting judgments, they have effectively forestalled any backdoor power grab by power-hungry Opposition politicians. Such display of judicious discretion is rare and is a testament of their loyalty without question to the Second, Third and Fourth Precepts of the Rukun Negara – Loyalty to King and Country, Upholding the Constitution and the Rule of Law. Under such circumstances, independence of the judiciary does not arise. It is irrelevant.

* Sons and siblings of former and present politicians not surprisingly are blessed with incredible business acumen, achieving billionaire status while still in their 20s, 30s, and 40s.

* Our billion-ringgit European-made submarine can’t dive/submerge/sink. However, unidentified sources blame it on the high salt content in our sea waters. Alternatively, they explained that the so-called submarine is in fact an aircraft carrier built to look like a submarine. “It was a typographical error. We apologise for the mix-up and regret the error. The clerk who committed this error has tendered his resignation.” At press time, it still could not be established why we need a submarine, much less, two, in the first place.

* It is not unknown that in military circles, ghost stories abound. Malaysia is no exception. Recently, according to sources which declined to reveal themselves, several old F-5E fighter engines have suddenly grown wings and flew off to Uruguay sans pilot. Apparently, these fighter engines are distant cousins of the Uruguayan Air Force fighter engine, a twin turboprop Fairchild FH-227. You know, the one that crashed in the Andes on Friday the 13th of October 1972. To survive, survivors ate other survivors who had succumbed to the cold and were frozen at the time of the food preparation.

teoh-beng-hock* Ghosts also apparently haunt certain law enforcement agencies. One Opposition political aide by the name of Teoh Beng Hock for unknown reasons fell to his death while at the premises of the MACC (Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission). Both sides are still quibbling over the cause of the fall and death. Similarly, a Mongolian model who allegedly never entered Malaysia somehow was found bombed to smithereens in a forest. Although the direct perpetrators were convicted, questions still arise as to the suspicious circumstances of her death. It is believed that the local press was forbidden to mention her name in case her spirit might return. Till today, no one is sure who the real culprit is and why she was exploded. Other custodial deaths, save for alleged car thief Kugan, enjoyed a quieter exit.

* Meanwhile, another celebrity blogger, better known as fugitive blogger RPK, had somehow vanished into thin air, with occasional sightings around the world. Word has it that aliens in an UFO had kidnapped him for research purposes. They had somehow identified him as being the sixth most intelligent Malaysian on earth and had wanted to study his brains. He has thus been allowed to live in luxurious surroundings and continue with his writings. His response to his son’s imprisonment and alleged attempted suicide in jail is also being monitored. Government authorities meanwhile have stepped up their efforts to regain this “brain drain”.

* Efforts are also seriously being made to investigate how billions of ringgit could have left the country undetected. According to unmentionable sources, government authorities are working on several theories, chief among them is the suggestion that “hidden hands” are at work using teleporters to transport the vast sum of money to safe havens overseas. Investigators are leaving no stone unturned and are investigating the whos and whys. In the midst of investigations, a secret document is leaked which hints at an impending government takeover following several politician crossovers. This leads investigators to believe that the teleported cash is used to fund the crossovers. At press time, it still could not be established whether the government referred to is the Federal Government or a state government.

Believe it or not, these events are what will save Malaysia in the coming years from lack of interest from foreign tourists. “Incredible Malaysia” will whet their appetite for unbelievable news of mysterious goings-on in Malaysia. The new tourist itinerary is expected to include the Kuala Lumpur Courts Complex, the forest in Shah Alam where remains of the Mongolian was found, Perak state, MACC building in Shah Alam, our prisons and the Sungei Besi airbase.

Even as I write, the finishing touches to our new tourism tagline – Escada’s “Incredible Me” fragrance wafting straight to your nose sung to the tune of Nat King Cole’s “Unforgetable” (the five-syllable “Unforgetable” is replaced by “Me-In-cre-di-ble”) are being finalized. Still on the same topic, rumour has it that there is talk of a collaboration between the ministry and TV 3 to produce a TV series on the mysterious goings-on in Malaysia. The series is tentatively entitled “Kisah Benar tapi Susah Percaya di Malaysia” (“Malaysian True but Incredible Stories”).

All on your (tax-payers) account, of course.

 

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Money, Mortality & Marriage

Sivam at work Sivam is a 71-year old fortune teller whom I chanced upon while at work in Klang’s Little India. Surprised that there  weren’t the usual pigeons with him (common among Indian fortune tellers), I decided to walk by and asked his  price. For RM5, he would tell your fortune from your palm. Add your birthdate, that would be RM10 combined for a more accurate prediction.That’s very very cheap compared to the Chinese fortune tellers whose starting rate is usually RM50!

First, he asked for my date of birth and then checked his almanac. He informed that I was born on a Monday. Oh, and I thought I was born on Good Friday?

Then he checked both my palms. And then he goes “You had a lot of money your way previously, but you “played” them away. Don’t gamble. But don’t worry. The money will come back to you again. You are earning now but have difficulty saving. Don’t worry though. You will get more later. You are the type who can study at a high level and so, you will reach high position. You have been “married” before.”

Oops. That last one wasn’t correct. Then again, I had a 7-year relationship once, so that probably counted as “marriage” in the eyes of everyone!

Next came my rather mundane and idiotic question: “Will the money that comes to me be a lot or not much?”

“Enough for you la,” he shot back. Not satisfied, I persisted and enquired: ” Would that be big money that can buy house or small money enough just to rent house?”

His cryptic answer: ” Big enough for you,” so I left it at that. I guess  a one-man tent can be considered big enough for me.

Next, is the very important question: “Will I marry again?”  “Yes, of course. Don’t worry. You look young and not a problem. ”

Finally, the life and death question: “How long will I live?” dscn2500

“You have a long life. Don’t worry. Let me check.” He whipped out his almanac again and cross-checked and then confidently pointed to a number : 83. Wow, I was really disappointed with that. 83 is far too long on this earth. I was hoping for 63 which I think is a nice age to expire into another world to do my travelling all over again in another realm.

But as FATE would have it, I am destined to stay longer in this world called EARTH. Even the Chinese fortune teller from Shanghai whom  I saw earlier at Berjaya Times Square told me that I have a very long life.

For some good old-fashioned reassurances, Sivam, the street psychotherapist, is good value for money. As to whether I believe him, why not? It’s good to be optimistic while the world swirls around in unpredictability and uncertainty.

Something about beaches (Pt 1)

There is something about beaches that I cannot get enough of.  Perhaps it’s the water, or the breeze. The smell of saltwater, the freedom it represents. The meditation with nature. Untied to anything. Free to roam for as far as you like. Freedom from constraints. The connection with foreign places. One can just swim away to the deep blue sea.

Important question: Would I get “beach fatigue”, a condition afflicting a small number of  people who haven’t yet figured out how much of the beach and water they could stomach without having their stomachs churn? I have to admit, I did experience it. Still,  it’s my dream to retire somewhere near the beach. Still thinking of which one below. Ah, I dream on. Here are the dreams that might become reality.

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“We will survive”

With all the negative press about Malaysia especially stories about extreme Islamists activities, the high price of alcohol and political turmoil, it’s hardly surprising that tourists numbers have dived since last year. To be fair however, this is a great place for good and reasonably-priced food at all hours of the day.  Despite endless concrete skyscrapers and characterless shoe box residential houses in KL city, there are pockets of redeeming activities taking place. Check out some of them below: dscn1565

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Akasha, an all-girl band from Canada grooving and pumping up the heat at Zeta bar, KL Hilton. Zeta is widely regarded as the top bar in KL, where well-heeled locals and foreigners hang out. I had fun on the 2 or 3 occasions that I was there. I especially like their rendition of some of the popular old songs, in particular songs like YMCA (think it was by Village People) which practically caused the whole floor to burst into an energetic jumping and hands-up routine. That was fun.032

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The left pix above is not a giant Christmas cake with figurines in colourful costumes. These are live dancers performing some Christmas story on top of a set made to look like the cake. The shopping malls become alive during festival periods. Not to be outdone, Chinese New Year sees some serious drumming by some semi-naked drummers from the local acting/music school. Multiracial and multi-religious Malaysians are so exposed to different cultures that having these indigenous-looking fellows doing the drums during CNY is no big deal. After all, tolerance is something all Malaysians strive for.   image_007

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Seriously, we are so tolerant that we have come to accept the that a bunch of girls dancing around the pole in  a club is as common as mum eschewing the outdoor wet market nowadays for the huge hypermarkets.

We are also thrilled when men, or rather boys, display their pole-dancing skills. A recent club party had the crowds going into hysteria when men were asked to belly dance topless in a glass cage in the middle of the bar.

And then, we also have the strange spectre of a former PM becoming an overnight blogger celebrity. Pix on the left below shows Dr Mahathir giving an autograph to a smitten fan. On the right, a Spanish flamenco dance giving Malaysians a taste of Espanyol in the heart of KL. Yes, we are that open and tolerant. In the middle of the strife, we are still capable of enjoying ourselves among Malaysians of other races. Our sense of humour remains very much intact too as demonstrated by our acceptance of all things strange in Malaysia. This includes prosecuting a former Deputy PM for sodomy ie. forcible anal penetration between two men. But this is another story better covered in a political and current affairs blog than this one.

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“Billionaire – Get Out”

Now, you will wonder why a military coup comes under a travel blog. Simple reason is that while I was stopping over in Bangkok in Sept 2006, the ouster of then PM Thaksin Shinawatra took place. Lest it be said that I am trivialising a serious political upheaveal in Thailand, I venture to let it be known that the atmosphere around Government House during that time was – shall I put it – “JOVIAL”.  Anti-Thaksin supporters were having a field day. Some were seen selling T-shirts showing a cartoonish Thaksin with his trademark flat hair and the words “GET OUT” prominently displayed below. Many soldiers received roses from members of the public. The street pedlers wasted no time to make money. Where there is a crowd, there is opportunity to make money.

Many journalists were spotted going in and out of Government House. Many Bangkokians, with children in tow,  came to see the great turning point in Thai history and politics.  Billionaire ousted by military with popular support? Rare but true. At least, that’s the impression I got. Now, I will let the photos talk instead.

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Happy Tubing in Vang Vieng, Laos

2dfb17a3_855687Widely regarded as the capital of tubing in the world, Vang Vieng is one of a kind of place in the world. So are many sights in Laos, that enigmatic country that I haven’t had enough of even after 2 visits. Tubing, for the uninitiated, is simply getting yourself into a tyre tube and floating down the river.  It’s almost surreal – tubing down the river with occasional refreshment (read: alcoholic) stops at the bars by the river.  One can get happily high while on the tube and forget oneself.  To add to the surreal experience, order a Happy Pizza and Happy mango milkshake after that, and well, reality starts getting redefined post Happy Tubing and all that.

Well, thankfully for me, the “re-defining” only started after I left the bar. On my way up to my room in a guesthouse, I was wondering why the staircase was bending and moving as I walked up. The staircases have come alive!!! If that wasn’t enough, when I struggled to bring myself to brush my teeth, the bathroom sink started to do a twisting act like it wasn’t happy that it’s spit at with toothpaste froth from my mouth.

I only remembered I sank into bed into a dreamless and fitful sleep that night. Thank goodness, I didn’t try the extra happy meals or the magic mushrooms etc. Reality would really have been twisted then. Still, it’s a re-defining moment for me. At least I know my limits now.

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